marți, 14 aprilie 2015

1200 g ibuprofen

I feel cold. I don't remember much. There was a smell. A very sweet tone which came from your fingers, most likely one of your teas. I remember closing my eyes and then all vanished like it never was. Most probably I imagined everything. It has to be so. It is so, I am sure. I feel ever so cold ever since, like someone constantly leaves the window open and I cannot find for the life of me your blue knitted sweater. I must have imagined it as well. 
Red eyes, dark circles, red eyes, dark circles, red eyes, dark circles, dark circles, cigarette smoke and silence. 
Each fight, a layer of skin, each memory, peels within.
I have this very vivid dream of us at a metro station in Paris. I'm crying, you're smoking. You put it out and walk away. 
Nonesense. There is no smoking allowed at the subway.
 July wasn't a good month. Well, neither August, September, October, November, December, January, February, March and half of April. 

I think May should be good.

luni, 30 martie 2015

Let's not talk 2.0

Each night I gather all my parts and glue them up again. During the day nobody knows that I am missing limbs or hearts. 

There is a sweet misery in which I linger a bit too much at times when it comes to you. I like to spend now time at the train station. Listening to music, sipping my skinny hot chocolate and remembering all the times people came and left. The day my sister came and the days I commuted to London, the days you came from home and the day you left for Edinburgh. I remember that day because I remember the guy at the gates that was telling me that 'All will be well' Giggles. And you asking me constantly where did I get this from. 
I hope this it is better for you now. As for me, every other day, I carry you in my thoughts. Some days of friendship and understanding, some days of love and missing and others of annoyance and abandonement. I shut you out like a bad dream because sometimes your absence is too much too bare but I do understand its silence. I would not have much to say if we were talking. I would just tell you that.. I am scared.
All will be well and let's not talk because making it well takes time.
Mali says HI
and this is happening